I feel like it’s been such a long time since I just sat down and wrote. Wrote about my day, my week, things I’ve been up to, plans for the coming weeks, or simply just how I’m feeling.
My blog started over four years ago, documenting my life in limbo between finishing university, discovering I had failed a couple of modules and not graduating “when you’re supposed to”. I feel that quoted sentence sums up my life to date and in some instances it makes me sad. Comparing myself to others isn’t something I like to do very often because where is it going to get you? But in the most part it makes me proud. Proud of me, what I have achieved since that time I didn’t graduate “when you’re supposed to” and thankful for my lovely family and friends I have gained along the way.
However, whilst four years may have passed and I have steered my way through, building a career, becoming something, I find myself kind of in the same situation. Not sure of what is around the corner, but I think I like it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve stressed, but after a
few a lot of tears and many stern but caring words loaded with empathy and guidance from my mum, my best friends and a boy I quite like, it’s true what they say….it will be ok.
So really ticking boxes and meeting deadlines that society set for you doesn’t really matter all that much to be honest. I may still live at home at 26, I may still sit on my bed in my childhood bedroom taping away very loudly indeed at my laptop documenting my life, but I know that I have the support of my loved ones and I have my shit together a bit more than 22 year old Ruth did…honestly.
I don’t really know why I’m writing this blog post. I think it’s good to get things out and by writing this here I can look back and see how far I’ve come in another four years.
I don’t know what my plans are for next week, the week after, next year in fact is a mystery and I’m ok with that. Yes it’s scary, but there’s no point worrying. Once you’ve made a decision you have to stick to it. At the time it felt right and three weeks later it still does. And that’s what I’m doing. Sticking to my guns.