Ruth Writes is a 30-something Liverpool based blog covering mid-size fashion, pescatarian food and beauty.
Having a blog means I live quite a ‘social’ life and I’m not afraid to share aspects of my life with the internet. I blog about the clothes I wear, holidays I go on and gigs, but one thing you never read about online are those who are unlucky in love. But recently there has been a certain TV show that I have become addicted to; Catfish. And since I spend a large proportion of my day tweeting about my bus journeys to work, things I do on the weekend and my hair, hell I’ve even created it it’s own hashtag (over at #bobprobs if you interested), so I thought why not open up and write a blog entry about my private life that I don’t tend to tweet about, well unless you count that other popular hashtag #rurudoesdating; my foray into the world of online dating. I was nervous to write this blog and feel even more scared about hitting publish, but my work fam suggested at the start of all this I should blog about it, so here goes nothing….
Having been single for quite a while, many friends have suggested I join an online dating site. The idea always made me sightly nervous. I mean I’m only 25, I’m too young for that surely and I have never had a problem with being single. I really like my life. I don’t know if you supposed to admit that but I have a fantastic group of friends and a fab social life. The only people who seem to get hung up on my relationship status are those in a relationship, but like I said earlier, I live my life online through Twitter, Facebook, my blog. If I had an iphone I’m sure I’d be an Instagram addict too, so why not give this a whirl.
So back to the story. About a month a go I just threw caution to the wind and signed up. I set my own terms and decided to sign up for 7 days only and see what happens. A day in, I got a couple of messages. Creeps asking for pictures (a big fat NO!), weirdo’s using cheesy lines like they’re going out of fashion and a guy from my town. 26, relatively normal. If I’m in, I’m all in, so I replied to the latter. We chatted for a couple of day on the site and then switched to Whatsapp. We decided to meet up 6 days later for coffee. Now I don’t drink tea or coffee so suggested Revs. Easy, central, good first day location. He doesn’t drink. Not a problem, but surely you can still go to a bar despite being t-total? Nope, Starbucks it was.
First date went well. He was who he said he was, looked like his pictures and conversation was easy. No awkward moments and a hot chocolate later it was over. So we arranged a second date. This time it was bowling. This went as before and was a good date and lead to a third. Now this is where it starts to go pear shaped. Date was scheduled for the following Saturday. The week before he was off work ill so rain-checked the Saturday and re-scheduled for Wednesday. Wednesday came, and on the day he rain-checked again stating a family get-together with his mum and sister at his Grandma’s as the reason. Well, ok as just the day before we arranged to do something on Saturday. Bringing us to Saturday just gone.
On Wednesday he suggests Friday having rain-checked again that day. I say sure. On Friday I had been talking to this guy for a month to the day. All day, everyday. About our day, plans for that weekend, just general chat. So, Friday came and he was due at my house at half 7.The plan was takeaway and DVD. He mentioned on Thursday night he could’t stay late as he was up to go Christmas shopping on Saturday with his sister. Fine. We spoke in the morn to arrange a time, but then come the 5 o clock whistle on Friday- radio silence. I messaged at 6 asking if we were still on for that evening. Nothing. Half 7 nothing. The guy just didn’t show.
Without meaning to stereotype, I did what girls do and sent a shitty message. Along the lines of ‘Easiest way to piss a girl off- ignore her, cancel on her, and don’t tell her. Remember that for your next online date’. Simple, but effective.
So, I felt foolish on Friday and then I did what I hadn’t done for the past month. Yesterday whist watching an episode of Catfish, I searched for him on Twitter. I knew he had Twitter as it had come up in conversation. A super quick search later, bingo. All his tweets were about football, but then I came across his sisters account. Stalker alert I know. On Wednesday she tweeted about being at home, so not at their grandma’s then? She tweeted yesterday about decorating the xmas tree, so no Christmas shopping? And then looking across his timeline of tweets, a week ago he tweeted about leaving work on a Friday. Thought you were ill pal?! So why all the lies?
Well I don’t know the answer to that one as I’ve been deleted off Whatsapp. I mean sure there were a couple of little niggles over the past month. A comment about how I go out so much and drink each weekend. I’m 25, shouldn’t I be enjoying myself- yes, yes I should is the answer to that one. So that’s that. I decided to blog about this as I have nothing to hide and it seems the guy did me a favour and its a good story to tell about my first online date. But strangely this hasn’t put me off. I wonder who will come along next? Not sure if I will blog about it, but remember the hashtag #rurudoesdating just in-case…..